and another one down.

that i brought a “spark” into his life. A lot of sweet words in the goodbye I asked him not to say yet.

But he was right when he told me, “If I don’t say it now, I won’t say it.”

I think that may affirm the friendship I wasn’t sure we had.

My first impression was never wrong, he’s very sweet.

I can’t remember his phone number.

And that should be some kind of triumph. But at this moment, I miss him. And all I want to do is have his voice in my ear again.

Somehow, in all this heat, I’m colder without it.

he would not wait a month for me to get back to the states to go see The Avengers together.

I’m going to cry myself to sleep now.

So, as previously mentioned. I probably crossed the line between friendly sharing and oversharing on Friday, but like I said, blame the bourbon. Old habits die hard and it’s like slipping into some fuzzy socks when I can sip my enormous glass of four roses and casually speak American. Yes, I said it. American.

This is not to say that I don’t have a wonderful time talking to my Spanish friends. If I didn’t, I probably wouldn’t have mentioned my affinity for comiendo polla. (And honestly, can I really be blamed?) We talk about sexual stuff all the time. They asked me about black dick first. I just…yeah.

It is, however, the English speaker (not the American speaker) who takes issue.

“Las americanas son muy directas”

By that, I can’t be sure if it’s meant “las americanas” sitting across from us or “las americanas” in general. The latter is definitely not fair, and though I’m still on the fence, I don’t think the former is either.

I get it. My conversation topic is not your cup of tea and, even though I’m not speaking to you, the fact that my words hit your ears may be some kind of offensive, and for that I can honestly apologize.

Do I have to apologize, though, for actually liking dick? Moreover, should I be sorry that I’m comfortable enough around my friends to tell them about it?

I take issue with the use of the word “directa”. I feel like it is wrongly applied. I’m not speaking to you, or about you or your dick or the dicks of anyone in particular for that matter. We’re not flirting and I’m not suggesting that I suck yours. I am being the most general and not implicating any dick. If I’m among friends, I don’t see why I should have to cut my words.

Granted, nobody told me to. But why is it that I feel guilty for the discomfort of someone else, caused by their own inability to express sexuality?

Inability is the wrong word. It’s their choice. So, if among friends, I choose to tell the spaniards: “Si, a mi eso me encanta”. Why does that make me less anything…less polite, less lady-like, less demure. Forward definitely is not the word.

I don’t know. I’m peeved by this. And I’m still trying to figure out how sorry I should be. 

Honestly though, blame the bourbon.